Self Harm

I can't remember if I've done one like this yet, but here it is. Some examples of self harm is cutting, burning, or just plain out hurting yourself. I don't like seeing people do it, I want people to live. To me, self harm is screwing with death. You want to feel pain because it numbs you or you're an adrenaline junky, but the behaviors are dangerous. They cause some serious depression. I usually lose respect for friends of mine that don't have a good reason. My friend, Rae, used to cut. I think she did it when she had a mentally abusing boyfriend that let her go through hell because of him and his friends. She's quit and has decided that it never helped her in the first place. Carmen, a cool as hell chick who just moved, cut because her parents have a very messy divorce and she had shit hitting the fan. Cutting numbed her, but she has recently quit and I'm proud of her. She quit two weeks ago on a sunday. Carmen had curled up and cried that day, just letting the tears fall. She came back to school and when her and I were talking, she said that crying felt better. She's still afraid of people seeing her wrists, but she's improving. Carmen and I had similar ideas about crying, it made you look weak, but it helps us now. Those are ok answers where I won't lose hope in you, I'll stand by you and help you through it all. Chelsea cuts, but when I asked her why, all she said was "I have problems." She made it seem as if she thought it was cool. Rene cuts and I think burns. She literally does it because she thinks it's cool. She would cut deep into her skin and draw a smiley face so the scar would last for years. It's pretty obvious that I stopped talking to her, I tried helping, but with that sort of thinking I can't help. I hate it when I see the blood, burns, and bruises. I don't want the people to hurt anymore and they don't realize how much it affects their friends and family. I want to hate these people, but I completely understand. Sometimes I just think that self harm will help and I raise the blade to my skin. The thing that stops me is my best friends' faces. They woud be horrified if I started self harm or thinking suicide and wonder what they did wrong to set me back in that idea. I was suicidal for about three to four years. I was about to just slit my neck when I got new friends. It took a while for me to trust them and they saved me. The new friends became my sisters, the ones that I would rather die than lose. I told them all of my feelings and they helped me through it all. They know of my parents fighting, my brother stealing and being a psychopath (the actual mental disorder. I'm not saying he's crazy.), my mood disorder and anxiety issues, and how I feel like I'm losing it all. They know of everything that has come through my life and helped. Everyone has amazing friends like these, whether or not they're hiding or standing in front of you. They can save your life if you just opened up to them and let the love in. Self harm is not solving your problems and it's not a distraction. It just leads down that negative path instead of the happiness you all want. Leave a comment if you want to talk. Message me on facebook, the page is the blog's name. I want to help you all. Just pour out all of your feelings that are hurting you and I'll listen. No one deserves to go through this much pain and it's wrong that some think they can power through it alone. Tell someone about it all and I swear your life will be better. If that person abondons you, then they aren't your real friend.